Understanding Trauma and Its Devastating Impact—Part Two: Generational Trauma and “Curses”
Hi. I’m Dr. K, and I just want to let you know that I identify myself as a nonsmoker. I’ve never smoked a day in my life. I don’t think I’ve even held a cigarette. But there has been one instance, in particular, where I wanted to smoke. No—I correct myself; I felt like I needed to smoke. It was after a patient that I’d been working with for years decided—for the first time—to reveal to me the details of abuse he’d experienced as a young boy. I was in tears at the end of his story. He was not. He simply said, “Can I go outside to smoke?” I—a physician educated in the dangers of tobacco use—excused him to go smoke. And I was very tempted to go with him, as I thought to myself, “This may be the reason that some people smoke. They smoke to cope.”
In my work with this patient, I believe his sharing with me the traumatic experiences that he’d buried was a turning point. He’d been struggling with depression for so long, and we’d tried all kinds of medications that had some benefit, but never entirely lifted the shroud of depression. I think the depression and anxiety that held fast was intimately intertwined with his history of abuse. He had suffered in silence for so long. Finally, when he told his story, I perceived that something had released within him. There seemed to be an awakening with him over the next several weeks, and then he found his thing---he found a job that was so incredibly perfect for him—almost like he was specifically built for it---and after that, there was nothing holding him back. Oh, my! I was and am so proud of him!
I tell you that story to make this point: you must not bury trauma and pretend like it never happened. At some point and in some way, the seeds of trauma will sprout nasty life-choking weeds. There’s a Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist named Isabel Wilkerson who, I believe, said it best: “You can’t escape from trauma by ignoring it. You only escape trauma by confronting it.”
For this video, I want to use a few minutes to explain to you a couple of processes that can take place psychologically as a result of trauma. Now, as you probably already know, there are many mental health conditions that can be birthed by or exacerbated by trauma. Depression, anxiety, substance abuse, and psychosis are just a handful of the illnesses that can result from trauma, and most specifically PTSD or Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. I plan to dedicate another video entirely to PTSD. But for this video, I want to focus on two psychic phenomena that may result directly from traumatic experiences. The reason that I chose these two specific phenomena is that they can set the stage or lay the groundwork for something called generational trauma. Generational trauma occurs when traumatic experiences extend from one generation to the next, and traumatic events can impact generations beyond the immediate victims of the original trauma.
One way that trauma can be passed on from one generation to the next is through a psychic process called identification with the aggressor. Identification with aggressor occurs when a person—desperate to survive--imitates the characteristics and behaviors of a dominant figure. It’s a way for a victim of abuse to regain a sense of control after feeling helpless in the face of abuse. It’s a way for a victim of abuse to cope with the fear or distress that results from interaction with the abuser. This process is unconscious, meaning that the victim of abuse who is identifying with the aggressor is not fully aware that they are gradually becoming more and more like the abuser. It is outside of their awareness that they are taking on the characteristics of the person they find threatening and intimidating. Kids who are abused at home or bullied at school may demonstrate aggressive and abusive behaviors toward peers, siblings, cousins, and eventually their own children. Sadly, this is a clear path by which verbal, physical, sexual, and psychological abuse and trauma can be passed from one generation to the next.
The second way that abuse and trauma can be passed on from one generation to the next is through another unconscious psychological process called repetition-compulsion or traumatic re-enactment. Repetition compulsion occurs when a person repeats painful, distressing, difficult, or traumatic events of the past without being consciously aware that they are doing it. A person may unconsciously seek out harmful and toxic relationships that remind them of similar abusive or traumatic relationships that they experienced previously—often times during childhood. They may unconsciously seek out dangerous or high-risk situations where traumatic events are more likely to occur again. Why would people do this? Again, I need to emphasize that it’s an unconscious process. Also, people tend to be creatures of habit. They gravitate toward the familiar and away from uncertainty and the unknown—even if the familiar is chaotic and destructive. As the saying goes, “Better the devil you know than the devil you don’t.” Also, humans may engage in repetition-compulsion in an effort to create one “do over” after another—all in an attempt to master or gain control over previous painful, distressing, or traumatic experiences with the hope of creating a better outcome. What often happens instead, though, is that people lay the groundwork for generational trauma by drawing themselves and many times their children into toxic relationships or high-risk situations that allow the trauma to recur and to be perpetuated. Children may then become victims or abuse or identify with the aggressor and perpetuate the abuse they’ve experienced as a result of a caregiver gravitating toward toxic and harmful relationships and situations.
Okay. My hope is that the information I’ve shared has been eye-opening and has shed some light on how trauma gets carried on from one generation to the next. More than that, I hope that by bringing these psychological processes to awareness, people may avoid pitfalls that set them and their loved ones up for continued trauma.
Yes, I may have provided some introductory information and increased awareness of these things, but in order to truly escape trauma, a person must confront it, and the scientific evidence points to consistent engagement in therapies that can effectively address trauma like cognitive behavioral therapy, cognitive processing therapy, prolonged exposure therapy, and EMDR or eye-movement desensitization and reprocessing therapy.
Please, don’t continue to suffer in silence. Reach out to a mental health provider to establish care and start your journey toward healing and becoming the best version of yourself.
This is Dr. K with Mental Health Plain Speak, and remember “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”
