Seriously — Do I Really Need to See a Mental Health Care Provider?

So, you’re on the fence.  You don’t know whether or not you should seek mental health care.  Something about the whole venture scares you.  Or maybe embarrasses you.  Or it just seems too much of a hassle.  Or it boils down to you just plain don’t want to.

Hey Guys!  My name is Dr. K, and I’m a child and adolescent psychiatrist and general psychiatrist based in the Southeast.  I’m posting talks with the hope of providing insight and education regarding mental health.  And the aim of today’s talk is to help you determine whether you need to seek mental health care for yourself or a loved one.

Let me go ahead and make it as clear as I possibly can: 

If you or a loved one are experiencing emotions or displaying behavior that’s causing a problem in some way, then seeking out the care of a mental health professional is recommended.

Okay, I’m going to say it again, if you or someone close to you is experiencing emotions or displaying behaviors that cause personal or family stress or that are causing a problem with functioning at school or at work, then seeking out the care of a psychiatrist, psychiatric nurse practitioner, psychologist, therapist, counselor, social worker or someone else in the mental health field is recommended.

Let me tell you a couple of solid reasons why:

Reason number one — getting mental health care can truly change the course of a person’s life.  Truly.

And number two — getting mental health care can positively impact the lives of everyone around the person who chooses to get mental health care.

Now, let me give you a hypothetical story to help you understand exactly what I mean.  Let’s talk about Little Johnny.  Now little Johnny has symptoms of what we in the mental health field call ADHD or Attention Deficit-Hyperactivity Disorder.  Little Johnny doesn’t pay attention in class.  Instead, he cuts the buck when he goes to school.  He talks out of turn.  He’s constantly drumming his pencils on his desk and kicking the seat of the child in front of him.  When the teacher asks questions, he blurts out all kinds of random stuff for laughs and sometimes even mouths off at the teacher when she tries to correct him.  By the end of the school day, his teacher is fed up and exhausted.  When she goes home, she plops her kids in front of the TV and tells them she’s got to take a ten-minute nap.  But when she wakes up, she realizes she has overslept and missed taking her daughter to dance class.  And dinner ain’t cooked and her husband’s irritated — talking ‘bout it ain’t his night to cook.  This teacher’s household is out of order because of Johnny’s disruptive behavior.  And because Johnny was so disruptive in class, the child sitting beside him didn’t get his class work done, so now he’s having to complete it at home and miss out on his TV time.  Oh, and by the way, Little Johnny pushed another child off the swing during recess at the end of the day, and the father of that child had to take him to the ER, where they’ve been waiting for two hours trying to get stitches for a busted lip.  And that kid’s father, because he was in the ER, had to cancel an evening business meeting.  And this is all because Little Johnny is not getting treatment for ADHD.  

So, let’s just block out everybody else for a minute and only consider the impact that untreated ADHD has on Little Johnny and Little Johnny’s family.  Little Johnny, because of his behavior, is labeled as a troublemaker at school.  His grades are terrible because he can’t pay a lick of attention — even when he tries--and he’s constantly getting detention or suspension.  Little Johnny ends up failing and has to repeat a grade.  His parents don’t know what to do with him.  He’s disrespectful at home and just won’t listen to anything they say.  They try spanking him, grounding him, and taking away his stuff but nothing seems to work.  His own family says he’s a troublemaker, too — just like his uncle.  In fact, he’s exactly like his good-for-nothing uncle.  His good-for-nothing uncle did the same mess when he was a kid.  

And this is the killer part — all the negative that people are saying — all the stuff that the teachers, principal, and even his own people are saying--starts to get down on the inside of Johnny.  He believes he’s a troublemaker.  He believes he is good-for-nothing.  And Johnny hears this stuff over and over in his head — you ain’t good for nothing.  You ain’t nothing but a troublemaker.  That’s what Johnny hears over and over in his mind.  So, you know what Johnny does.   Johnny starts to drink and Johnny starts to smoke to drown out all those negative voices in his head.  And then Johnny starts to hang out with other people who can relate to him and who drink and smoke just like he does.  And then Johnny starts to sell the stuff he smokes because at least it’s something he can do.  He can earn money this way.  And he can finally be good at doing something.  And then Johnny gets caught and Johnny gets locked up.  

The thing that I know for sure.  I am convinced because I’ve seen this mess in real life that Johnny had and still has potential.  I believe that every single human being on this earth has the potential to display goodness and play an important part in the world that only they can play.  But the world missed out on all the goodness deposited on the inside of Johnny because Johnny didn’t have the chance to fully become the best version of himself.  Untreated mental illness dictated his path.  And his path took a very terrible--but avoidable…AVOIDABLE--downward spiral.  Johnny could have done so much for himself and his family and given so much to this world.  He could have been a phenomenal entrepreneur, a tech developer, the next basketball phenom, a musical genius or a comedian who gave hope to the world through laughter but Johnny missed out.  His family missed out.  The world missed out on the best version of Johnny.  Because he did not get mental health care.  And now all that goodness is locked in and locked up. 

Taking the step of reaching out and seeking mental health care for yourself or your loved one can be a bit scary for some — even daunting.  But trust me, it’s worth it.  I can bear witness to lives being changed--and changed for the better — because a brave and often desperate mama brought her child in to get care and stayed the course in counseling year after year.  Y’all the other day, I went to a restaurant at kind of an off time — it was really quiet in there, and the guy standing behind the cash register said I looked familiar to him.  He asked me what I did, and I told him I was a psychiatrist and he said, “Yeah, I knew that was you.  I used to be one of your patients.”  He told me his name, and when I looked real close at his face under his dreads, and I was like oh my god, say what?!  I knew exactly what he was, and I remember him and his brother used to cut up — and I mean cut up — at school and at home.  They used to give their poor mama the business — taking her credit card out of her purse, cussing out teachers—all the things.  Now, I treated them for about three years for ADHD and then they continued on with another psychiatrist when I had to leave, but they stayed in therapy with the same psychologist for years.  And they grew up and they got jobs.  When I told them how proud I was of him, he was like, yep — "I’m the manager.”  And then — to top it all off, he said, my brother’s a police officer now.  Y’all, I started flipping out in the restaurant.  I had to do a little hallelujah dance right there in the lobby.

I’m telling you.  It is worth it — even if it seems to be a bit of a hassle — to seek out mental health care.  It may change the course of your life.  It may change the course of a loved one’s life.  It may save a life.  It may save several thousand lives, because neglecting to treat a mental health condition not only hurts individuals but also causes a whole lot of collateral damage that can destroy a community. 

Folks, let’s make it our business to understand mental illness and those who struggle against mental illness.  I’m Dr. K, and this has been Mental Health | Plain Speak.  And remember, “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”