Stop Thinking Dirty!
Hey you! Yeah, you. You need to stop thinking dirty. You heard me. Stop. Thinking. Dirty.
I’m Dr. K with Mental Health | Plain Speak. I’m a psychiatrist based in the Southeast, and I want to talk to you today about dirty thoughts.
Okay—let's just admit it. We all have them—dirty thoughts. And, let me clarify what I mean by “dirty thoughts.” When I say “dirty thoughts,” I’m talking about those negative, good-for-nothing thoughts that keep you weigh you down on the daily. I’m talking about those negative, good-for-nothing thoughts that make you feel sad, angry, guilty, ashamed, and worthless. I’m talking about those negative, good-for-nothing thoughts that wreck your life if you don’t check them. Yeah, those are the kind of thoughts I’m talking about. Yeah--we gotta do something about those. You know why we gotta do something about negative, good-for-nothing thoughts? We gotta do something because thoughts are POWERFUL. Imma say it again—thoughts are powerful! What goes on up here, plays out in the world around you. What goes on up here, plays out in the world around you. There’s a quote by Mahatma Ghandi that says this:
Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.
And let me tell you, I have seen this truth play out over and over in my own life and the lives of my patients. That’s why it is absolutely necessary to clean up your thoughts if you want to live your best life. You may say, “Well, Dr. K, just how do I do that?”
The first step is to think about what you’re thinking. Say what?! I said think about what you’re thinking. We all have thoughts that prance and dance through our minds, and if you’ve got to learn to pay attention to them so that they don’t run autopilot. So, I’m gonna challenge you to do this: next time you notice a shift in your emotions—whether good or bad—I want you to stop and ask yourself, “Hmmm. What was I thinking just before my mood shifted?” For example, you may be driving a long, familiar stretch of road—often times that when our minds like to go autopilot—and all of sudden, you start feeling angry. You need to pay attention to that mood shift and ask “What was I just thinking before I got angry.” You could’ve been thinking about how you got passed over by your boss. And how you deserved that job. And how you’ve been there for so many years and have so much more experience than that goofball they actually hired. That boss cheated you. He cheated you. You have been robbed.” You look down at the speedometer, and now you’re going 80 miles per hour. You literally need to check yourself before you wreck yourself.
And this is how you check that dirty thought: you could ask yourself questions like these:
Is thinking about the situation this way helping me?
Is there a better way to think about this situation?
What would my friend say about the situation?
You have to recognize negative, good-for-nothing thoughts and take control of them before they control you. If you walk around thinking you’ve been robbed and cheated, what do you think your mindset is going to be like once you return to work on Monday. If you keep thinking that thought over and over and over again, by Monday you might just be ready to blow some stuff up. And I’m telling you the truth, that’s exactly the mess you see on the news. People blowing up stuff and shooting people up. And I guarantee you, in premeditated situations like that, those people were sippin’ on some bad juice. They were thinking the same negative thoughts over and over and over again and then took action on those thoughts. And lives were lost—including their own.
Learn to check your thoughts. What am thinking? Is it helping me to keep thinking this way? If I keep thinking this way, am I going to live my best life? If I keep thinking this way, am I going to become the best version of myself?
If the answer is “no,” then you need to stop thinking those thoughts. And sometimes, you might have literally slam your fist down or say out loud ”stop” to stop that negative stream of thoughts from ticker taping through your mind.
Then, you are going to have to take action. You are going to have to talk to yourself. Yep. I said it. I’m a psychiatrist telling you to talk to yourself. And I mean it. You can either let those negative thoughts bubble up and talk to you or you can talk to yourself to shut those thoughts down by blasting those thoughts with positivity. Yes, you are going to have to engage in positive self-talk. And what I mean is that you are going to have to tell yourself good things about yourself and your situation to combat the negativity. You are going to have to go into full-fledged Stuart Smalley mode. Tell yourself that you have a lot to offer the world. Tell yourself the best is yet to come. Tell yourself that when opportunity comes knocking, you’ll be fully prepared. And make up in your mind that you’ll keep your eyes open for new and better opportunities. And I’d like to encourage you—starting today—to be very intentional about building within your mind a treasure box of comforting, encouraging and uplifting thoughts. Memorize scripture, quotes, or mantras that encourage and empower you. Listen to podcasts and read books that inspire you. Surround yourself with positive people so that your brain is as fully immersed in positivity as possible. Then when challenges and problems occur in life, it’ll be easier to see the situation through a more hopeful and optimistic lens.
Some of the tips I’ve offered here are a part of specific type of therapy called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Cognitive means related to the process of thinking, and one major component of this type of therapy is learning to recognize and change unhelpful ways of thinking. If this type of therapy interests you, then reach out to a mental health professional with training in this area.
Alright, that’s the end of the session for today. I hope this content has helped you recognize some ways that you can lower your own levels of anxiety. Now please do remember that the suggestions I offer here are not meant to be a substitute for advice from your own provider. So, talk to your provider before implementing any of these tips. And if you don’t have someone helping you with your mental health needs, consider reaching out to a professional. Folks, let’s make it our business to understand mental illness and those who struggle against mental illness. I’m Dr. K, and this has been Mental Health | Plain Speak. And remember, “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”
