Three Things to Keep in Mind When Going Toe-to Toe with Depression

I love a good fighting movie.  The Rocky and Creed Movies—man, I can get goosebumps just thinking about the powerful themes that are woven within those films. 

But, I don’t much like fights in real life.  No, I don’t.  Fights can get dirty and nasty and rough.  But you know what--I’m not afraid of a fight either.  I will fight—with words or metaphorically—when necessary.  There are times when you’ve just got to get in there and duke it out, mix it up, bump heads--so you can come out on the other side with the belt. 

Still, there is one monster you don’t want to meet in the ring.  That monster is depression.  Man, trust me.  You do not want to go toe-to-toe with depression.  But nobody I know chooses to get in the ring with depression as an opponent.  Depression is a sneaky little thing—a little cheat that doesn’t fight fair.  Depression will sneak up behind you and pull you down by your ankles before you know what’s happening.  And you have got to find a way to get yourself back up on your feet, or depression will keep on pummeling you—even when you’re already down.  Depression can be a relentless beast.  It’ll keep throwing punches until you are knocked out.  Knocked. Out. Of. Life.  We cannot let that happen.  You need to be fully engaged.  You need to be carrying out your purpose.  You need to be living your best life.  The world needs the best version of you.  The world needs you to be up and about and doing the thing that only you can do.  You DO have a thing that only you can do.  You DO have a purpose that only you can fulfill.  You DO have a place that only you can hold on this earth.   

Hi.  I’m Dr. K with Mental Health | Plain Speak.  And today, I want to share with you some insider information about depression, so that if this monster ever tries to pick a fight, you’ll some knowledge, insight, wisdom, and understanding that will help you go toe-to-toe.  But first, let me describe this monster to you, so that you’ll recognize when he’s grabbed you by the ankles. 

This is what depression looks and feels like: 

You feel sad, empty, lost or hopeless for most of the day, nearly every day, 

The things that used to interest you—the things you used to enjoy—you don’t enjoy so much or at all any more 

Your appetite has changed—you don’t want to eat hardly at all or you want to eat all the time—and this has caused some noticeable changed in your weight 

Your sleep has changed—you can’t hardly sleep at all or either you want to sleep all the time 

You feel slow and heavy and don’t hardly want to move at all or either you feel restless and agitated and can’t keep still—and others around you have taken notice of the change, 

 You feel like you are drained of energy, 

Almost every day, you battle feelings of worthlessness, or you feel guilty for no solid reason, 

You can’t think clearly or focus, or you have a real hard time making up your mind about things, 

And finally, thoughts of death or suicide keep dancing through your mind.  

Now, if a person is experiencing any two of these symptoms for at least a week, and if the symptoms are really stressing them out or causing them to not function on some level—whether at work or in school or causing problems in their relationships--then some type of depressive disorder has snuck up on them and grabbed them by the ankles.  And the more symptoms a person has, the greater the severity of depression. 

Now, that we’ve established what the monster looks like, I’m going to give you the top three most important tips to hold between your ears when duking it out with depression: 

Number one—know that you should not stay in the ring alone.  When you are fighting it out with depression, you have got to have some people in your corner.  Some people who have got your back one hundred.  People who are rooting for you and people who can coach you through the fight.  You need some supporters.  You need a team.  As soon as you feel that monster depression grip your ankles, I’d advise you reach out to a mental health professional immediately and meet with this provider on a regular basis.  Also, if you’ve got supportive, trustworthy friends—it might be wise to let one or two know the battle you’re facing so that they can encourage you and keep at eye out for you.  If you have people in your spiritual or religious network who can lend support, reach out to them as well.  Don’t try to go it alone, even if depression tells you to do so.  And that brings me to another point about depression—depression is a master deceiver.  It’s one of the biggest trash-talkers ever.  It’s going to lie to you and whisper mess like “No one cares.  No one wants to hear about your raggedy, little life.  You’re life ain’t worth nothing.  Might as well end it.”  Don’t listen to that garbage.  You’ve got to ignore those voices and reach out for help.  There are helpers who are stationed around you.  They are there.  You just have to open your eyes and look for them.  And when you find them--be brave, reach out, and ask for help.  

Number two—to fight depression, you are going to have to do the opposite of what it tells you to do.  If it whispers, “Don’t take that antidepressant.  They’re just stupid pills for fake happiness,” do the opposite and take the medication as prescribed.  Keep in touch with your prescriber if there are any problems at all while taking the medication.  If depression whispers, “Stay in bed,” you’re going to have to battle your way from under those covers.  If depression says, “Don’t go to work.  No one wants you there anyway.  The work you do is pointless,” then you need to do your best to get up and go to work.  Keeping routines and connections to people is so important when battling depression.  Because depression is going to try make you STOP everything you're doing and sit yourself somewhere in a dark corner and think dark thoughts.  That’s what depression makes you want to do.  You are going to have to put the cart before the horse—and what I mean is this: you can’t sit and wait until you feel better before you start doing activities and engaging in life.  No. You are going to have actively do things to make yourself feel better. You’re going to have to set yourself up with a daily activity schedule or routine to help fight off the depression.  Schedule yourself to get up in the morning to go for a walk in the sunshine.  Next after that, go ahead and take your shower and use some of that good-smelling body wash infused with those mood-lifting essential oils.  Eat you a good healthy breakfast with fruits or vegetables, whole grains, and protein, and take all your medications as prescribed.  After that, put yourself in your car, turn on that uplifting podcast, and drive yourself to work.  At work, give it the best you have to offer.  During break, seek out that coworker who always has a smile on her face and get up under her and see if some encouraging words can fall into your ears.  During lunch, connect with the friendly, positive people--(not the Debbie Downers), because when you’re engaged in positive conversation, you can’t engage in negative self-defeating patterns of thinking.”  Bottom line is this:  with depression, you are going to have to fight and do the opposite of what depression is telling you to do so that you start to feel better.  Now, I’m going to say this again.  Don’t try to do this alone.  No man is an island.  It helps to get with a mental health provider –that’s your coach and your trainer, right there--to help with devising a specific strategy for taking down depression. 

Number three—the last thing I want to tell you is don’t get comfortable with depression.  I’ve seen some patients who give up the fight and just let depression own them.  They in the ring hugged up with depression.  Cozy with depression.  Wear depression like it’s their favorite sweatshirt or hoodie.  They sit and marinate in it.  Often times because they got wore out during the fight.  There were too many rounds, and the fight was dragging on and on, so they just gave up. I want to encourage you—don't give up.  There are so many treatment options out there for depression and it’s important to explore all your options.  Your mental health provider can devise a treatment plan, and if the strategies aren’t working, then that provider can try different approaches or refer you to someone else who’s got a different method for battling depression.  Don’t throw in the towel and allow yourself sink in the swamp of sadness.  Reach out for help, work the plan, and do all you can to fight off depression.  My hope and my prayer is that you come out waving that championship belt overhead. 

 Alright, guys--that’s the end of the session for today.  I hope this content has shed some light on things you may not have fully understood or appreciated about fighting that monster depression.   

Keep in mind that the suggestions I offer here are not meant to be a substitute for advice from your own provider.  Folks, let’s make it our business to understand mental illness and those who struggle against mental illness.  I’m Dr. K, and this has been Mental Health | Plain Speak.  And remember, “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”